What A Man Can Do, A Woman Can Do Even Better…

‘Someone once told me that I let things that shouldn’t matter get to me. He is right but I just want to state for the record that this one actually does matter to me. I have never understood this statement, ‘It’s a woman’s job,’ especially in an office environment. My job description doesn’t include me fetching coffee for you or cutting the office birthday cake or sharing the birthday item seven. I can’t remember seeing that in my appointment letter.’
‘Ah! Na wa o, if I leave you, you will keep on ranting.  Maybe you should start from the beginning so that I can understand you because for now, you are just rambling.’
‘Last week, a colleague of mine asked me to help him cut and share another colleague’s birthday cake and drinks. I asked him why and then, he tells me because I am the only one he knows that is good at ‘these things’ and besides, it is a woman’s job.’
‘Oh yes, is it not a woman’s job before?’
‘What do you mean by that? As a woman I would think that you will be more sympathetic to my position.’
‘Well, I think that is a biased thought. Any-which how, have you ever seen any man cut and share cake or do those motherly duties for people where there is an able body woman around?’
‘Oh yes I have, plenty of times and they do it well without complaining.’
‘Ok, let me rephrase – what a man can do, a woman can do even better… no be wetin we dey talk?’
‘That is not the point. You are jumping the gun here. I do not think someone should ask me to do something for him on the basis that it is ‘a woman’s job.’ Doesn’t he have hands? Am I his girlfriend, wife or sister? What am I even saying, even if I were any or all of those things, shouldn’t he have asked in a more dignifying way? If he had said I should do it as a friend; that could have appealed to me but to…’
‘So he insulted your feminist side?’
‘This has absolutely nothing to do with feminism but marginalization.’
‘Hmm! My friend Nkene is a brilliant woman. English…speak…tell them you went to school.’
‘This is not a joke, don’t make light of the situation.’
‘I am not o. I just want to understand how marginalization entered this equation.’
‘I believe that when someone – be it man or woman – decides that a particular thing/work is meant for a particular gender (because in his head society has made it so) then that person…’
‘It’s not in his head o, it is out there clear and visible. There are certain things that an average African man wouldn’t do; that a fraction of those men choose to do it doesn’t mean that all men would then. I mean, how many women do you see laying bricks?’
‘Not a lot but still for someone to ask me to do certain things all because of the two oranges I have on my chest just doesn’t feel right. Growing up, my brothers were in charge of taking care of the generator but I tell you, I know more about the generators than most of my male friends. Most men I know who cook do better jobs than women and I know women who can’t even make noodles. I just don’t think it is appropriate for people to assign or not assign roles to genders because of the absence or presence of an okro sprout.’
‘I can see that you have a symptom of watching too many Hollywood movies. They have so brainwashed you into thinking you can change the African culture. Call it globalization or whatever. The fact remains that there are certain roles you can’t take away from genders. There are things that will always be a woman’s responsibility whether you like it or not, we have been engineered that way and the same goes for men. That said, we are in a society that clearly separates genders. Although the bridge is gradually being thinned out, it may take a long time to get there. So my friend (tapping her on her head) wake up, dream no more and accept your fate.’
‘Over my dead body, I will keep talking about it till it gets through their thick skull.’
‘Be careful what you say… Anyway, good luck!’